If I only had a penis

I have been blessed with many friends throughout my lifetime and even more blessed with very strong friendships. Some have lasted, some have not. Some have gotten stronger, many more less so. Some have evolved to being practically family, while others have drifted to a more "acquaintance" level.

It's all very natural I realize, but it doesn't make it any easier. It's also a bit harder when your friendship is with someone of the opposite sex. For example, I have a friend... we'll call him "Santiago". Now Santiago and I were best friends in college. We were inseparable for about a year and a half. It was great. After I graduated we stayed close, but gradually things changed. And as the years went by, Santiago married and became a father. We still talk on occasion, but things are definitely not the same. Nor should they be. On the other hand, his other friendships with other people (all men) have stayed the same. In fact, I would say they've only gotten stronger. While ours was not so lucky. I really feel this is because he's a man and I'm a woman. And once again, that pesky men vs. women thing has come to play in my life.

A few years ago, when another one of my guy best friends (I only have 1 now, I used to have 2), got married, I was not asked to be part of the wedding party because I was a woman. In the end, I was a part (kind of) of the wedding, but not to the extent of our other friends and all because I didn't have a penis. And now I have just found out that there is an upcoming trip to Vegas that I am not invited to because once again, I am w/out a phallus.

Oh sure, I am stoked for my friends, but at the same time, I can't help but feel like it should include me. It never will of course, but there is still that lingering feeling of "WTF?". This doesn't take away from the wonderful FEMALE friendships I have... which most definitely outweigh the MALE friendships both in number and in shear value to me, but I still feel neglected. And maybe, just maybe it all stems from the disappointment I feel when I think about the diminished friendship between me and Santiago.

Whatever the case. Eff them and their sweet ass vacation enjoying selves.

Just kidding.

But seriously, I'm so bitter.

I need a damn vacation already!