Ode to Dumb Bitch

(FYI: This is NOT a poem. I'll write a story or in a journal, even the occasional monologue, but a poet I am not.)

This post is inspired by my friend "Cobalt78". I was quite flattered by her ID. I gave her the nickname "Cobalt" in college (her eye color) and I can only assume the 78 stands for her age (heh).

You see, her comment on my previous post reminded me of times past. We'll call them "The Annoying Years" (as opposed to "The Wonder Years"). That would be when I was 16 (or so) til about 19 years old.

Holy shit I was a pain in the ass back then! I was rude, mean, and worst of all I was extremely obnoxious. How do I know this, you ask? Well, first off, I was there. I remember. Secondly, I still have old notes and letters from HS and my first year of college and all I have to do is re-read them to remind myself of what a beyotch I was.

You see back in the day, I was extremely insecure (yeah, I know, hard to believe, eh?) and very clingy. I also had a bad habit of saying really mean/sarcastic things - thinking people would just KNOW I was joking. Well, as you can probably guess - they did not know. So I ended up coming across as a snot. However, what people probably couldn't tell was that I was just masking my fear of rejection, loneliness and an overall dysfunctional personality.

And then at 18, I had a very real and very harsh awakening. Simply put I was told to "get lost" by a few of my friends. Yeah, fun times. But I'm glad it happened. You see it helped me to realize it was time to finally grow up. It was time to finally learn to like myself. To be comfortable being by myself. You would think as an only child, I had that one down - but not like this. Not when I was that girl (ah-hah) whose happiness was dependent upon others. Anyway - as you can imagine this time in my life "sucked big hairy donkey balls" (I've always LOVED that saying - I just don't get to use it as much as I'd like to. I'm glad I could finally use it here. You know - with y'all.) but it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Well, that and Prozac.

Anyway, so in reference to the title of this post - this is a shout out to my college days and to all of my fellow Dumb Bitches (if you can name the movie this is from, than you are definitely in my "Cool as Shit Book") in the world.

Holla'!!

BTW - Just jokes about the Prozac.

Awww, come on, it was funny.