My Retirement Plan by Thatgirl7278

Since I was in HS and college I have been in the planning stages of my retirement strategy.

Basically, I plan on opening a restaurant.

Now, I don’t have any of these ideas patented or anything, but I will say on this blog, officially, that if you STEAL any of these ideas w/out my authorization, you are thereby giving me cause/reason to hunt you down and shank you prison style. And if you need a visual, do this… close your eyes (but before you do, read this next line. Err, yeah.). Now imagine someone taking a very blunt, homemade knife and slowly slicing your neck open. Yeah. Cause that’s what I will do to you if you take my shit, man. And don’t think I won’t, because you know I’m a Mexi and that’s just how we roll.

Moving on.

So, the name of my future restaurant is: I Don’t Care, Whatever.

As in…
“Where do you want to go eat tonight, dear?”

“Oh, I don’t care, whatever.”

Ah-hah.

Exactly.

This restaurant will be designed to accommodate large groups. Possibly with large benches or just cafeteria style, I haven’t decided.

Don’t you hate it when you go someplace in groups of 6 or more you end up having to wait at least 45 minutes to an hour, sometimes longer just to be sat? And all because you have a large group. Yeah, I know, that’s such bullshit. So at MY restaurant, we will eliminate that situation. In fact, it’ll be parties of 3 or less who might have to wait 45 minutes or more. While large groups will be sat almost immediately.

Fuckin’ small parties. HA! Take that!

I will also accommodate my guests by offering Coke AND Pepsi products at my establishment. None of that Pepsi only or Coke only shit. Why does it have to be one or the other? Yeah, well, not at MY restaurant. There will be so many damn types of soda available; you’ll think it’s a soda buffet.

When you need your waitress, there will be some sort of paging device. Or maybe a little mini-flag that you can raise, like at the old Panchito’s.

And as for the menu… well, that is where I am still ironing out the kinks.

I have one plate on the menu so far:
The Double D.
-Two large chicken breasts, mashed potatoes, a vegetable, and a roll.

This is a tribute to my friend and roommate Leslie. I’ve linked her blog here before, so if you wanna check it out you’ll have to search for it.

And no, it’s not because she has Double D’s. Although, she may, I forget. It’s because of a funny ass story she told me from our HS days. Maybe she’ll post it for everyone now. HINT HINT.

Anywho… expect I Don’t Care, Whatever to hit a town near you by 2035. And if not, well, guess what, I don’t care… whatever.