Droopy draws

Am I the last woman to know that you're not supposed to wear chones (underwear, for those not fluent in Spanglish) under pantyhose?

I think I must be. Because I felt like an idiot on Saturday when The Roommate said "uhm, they are called PANTYhose afterall".

Oh. Yeah.

Lemme explain. On Saturday night a very good friend of mine from HS got married. Altogether - awwwwwww. And I wore a dress. A very nice dress. It's black with large maroon flowers and has a sheer top over the skirt. Uhm, okay, moving on.

Anyway, this particular dress is pretty short. Knee length to be exact. At first I just thought I'd wear sandals and be good to go. But with the lack of sunlight this time of year my legs are super-pale. So I realized (with 10 minutes to finish getting ready) that I needed pantyhose. I haven't worn pantyhose in a very VERY long time. Since I was running late as it was, I tossed on my hose and ran out the door.

It wasn't until we were scurrying down the block from the parking garage to the hotel in downtown SA when I realized the pantyhose I had tossed on were either too big or my ass has disappeared (possibly a combination of both) because the next thing I knew, my pantyhose had slipped down my ass and were dangerously and very quickly sliding down my thighs!

So I'm walking as fast as possible (we were late) with my damn pantyhose practically at my knees! And remember readers - my dress is knee length. Oh man. I was so pissed. Well, and embarassed because I was absolutely sure everyone could see I was walking/running around with pantyhose threatening to fall down at my ankles.

I think I pulled up my dress to adjust at least twice at some point in my jaunt to the hotel. (Yikes, I know!) And all to no avail because as soon as I walked into the hotel, down they had fallen again. I found a bathroom and tried to slip the waistband of my hose down into the waistband of the chones. That worked - for about 2 minutes.

So the whole night I battled with my damn pantyhose (we're talking about at least 4 hours here people!), until finally at the end I jumped into the ladies room and just chucked 'em. Fucking pantyhose. Who invented those damn things anyway.

Stupid hose.