That's right. I'm in love. We are 98.4% compatible.
Okay, so he lives in North Dakota, has three ex-wives and a different child with each, but I think HarryButtHole376 (that's his screen name, we haven't exchanged real names yet) and I will have a wonderful life together.
Little did I know when I filled out my FREE Personality Profile (a $40 value absolutely free!) that it would lead me to the nicest and most considerate man I've ever met. He sends me poetry written just for me and a virtual flower bouquet on a daily basis. And one time... in a very intimate moment online, he even cried. Well, at least he said he was crying. It was all so sweet.
I know he is my match. I mean, eharmony said so. So, uhm, it must be true. Right?
I can't even remember half of the questions on the profile or which ones we had in common. But they were clearly the ones that mean the most. And it only cost me $200.00 for a year's subscription to find him. And in my first week! How lucky am I!?!
I'm so happy.
I'm so full of shit. But this was fun. I mean, if I have to see one more damn commercial for this crap, I'm going to go ... I'm going to go ...
I. Don't. Know.
But I'll go something. Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone. And if I did, well, feel free to email me your displeasure at: like_I_c@re.com. Laters!
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