That's it. I've decided that I will market a brand new product.
The "already sharpened" pencil.
Oh sure, the whole "mechanical" pencil market may try and come after me... but seriously, what do they have on me? I mean, "mechanical"??!! Psh. I could take 'em.
Noooo, I'm talking about a regular ol' #2 ALREADY sharpened. I mean, they sell COLORED pencils already sharpened. Hook a sista' up and sharpen the damn pencils already.
I only say this because I have had to sharpen about 50 pencils today... and all with our cheap ass $5.99 pencil sharpener. And now my left hand (why the left, you wonder? why not, I say!) won't stop shaking. Seriously, I can't get it to stop. Now, sure it will come in handy (pardon the pun) later tonight, but in the meantime I'm stuck with a vibrating hand that tingles.
Gosh!
In other news, apparently I missed the "campus-wide e-mail" that said it is now okay for men and women to wear clothes that display their tummy rolls to the world (meaning you can see skin!). Hey, I always say, if you got a roll (alas, I too, have one), be proud. You (we) undoubtedly got it from eating good (albeit unhealthy) food - and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
I just think we could be a little more considerate of people who have not able to experience good food (or those few fortunate fucks w/monster metabolisms) like we have and keep our rolls to ourselves. That's all I'm sayin'.
It really doesn't help that typically the stomach is one of the last places to see the sun and when the belly roll is flashed it causes momentary blindness.
So for the sake of world peace (meaning - the War of the Chubbies versus the Skinnies can be pushed back just a bit longer), I ask you to please pull down your shirts.
3 comments:
Hmmmm I hate to break it to you..but when we order pencils...we ordered the pre-sharpened ones! they are awesome! If you don't have them there...then do it! LOL
Simple pleasures.
Oh and down with those "muffin tops!"
Yeah. *sigh* I just heard about those. Damn you Office Depot, where are you hiding them?!?!
Ok - so how crappy was my first job back in the lone star state...
Worked in an office with over 500 temporary employees bubbling scantrons (scoring essays the archaic way) with sharpened pencils.
Here's the catch: anyone who is insane enough to bubble scantrons all day every day for a paycheck has serious issues, but one of the quirks that is essential to success is nitpicking pencils from the tubs I had to replenish on a daily basis. If the point wasn't sharp enough, the writing implement would get exiled back to the warehouse by way of the DULL PENCILS plastic bin so I could sharpen pencils to my heart's content in my downtime (which had to be scheduled for at least half an hour a day to get anywhere close to the pencil points needed). If I ever go back to work there, I'm asking for an UNLEADED job. Then again, if they had paid me PER pencil like they paid the other people PER essay (sometimes), I would have made a KILLING! - Not in the criminal way, of course.
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