Craptacular

I thought about posting yesterday afternoon, but I was busy and I was in such a foul mood I wouldn't have liked anything I typed anyway.

Yesterday was just not a good day for me. I mean it ended alright - nothing special, but nevertheless, if it had not been wet and cold outside I would have gone and gotten myself into trouble. Er, ok - maybe not REAL trouble, but I would have done some stuff I would not be proud of and then I would regret it therefore spiraling into a pit of regret and self-disgust.

Don't you just love my visualization?

I don't know what's going on w/me lately but I don't think I've been myself these last few days. I have found myself getting angry every day it seems. Literally ever since Sunday (and here we are Wednesday) I have been pissed at the world. And the thing is I know it's dumb, and I know it's ultimately inconsequential, but I can't stop how I feel. And then I think well, what good is venting to a friend because then all I've done is said out loud all the things that have pissed me off. Which does me NO GOOD! Normally I just keep these things to myself. I think "oh that is just f*&$ing great" - I mull over it and then eventually I move on. But then the next day something else happens to piss me off and I'm back where I started.

Sunday it was Leslie, Monday it was the IRS and my student loan lenders, Tuesday it was the bullshit upper management here at work... now I feel as though I am just waiting for something else to happen. I wake up thinking "wonder what'll piss me off today". Which is usually not my style.

And to make matters worse, my head hurts. A lot. I think I need caffeine.

Anyway - my day today is pretty light, so I'm sure I'll post at least once more today (gotta make up for missing yesterday).