Dear San Antonio Spurs,

I have been a very loyal fan since I was first introduced to basketball at the age of 8. (I know what you're thinking, 8? Why so old? I. don't. know.) It's been a challenge, I'm not going to lie. But for the last seven years you have become the winningest franchise and I'm not mentioning any names (Tim Duncan), but I think you have a real shot here at another title.

I do have a few requests. Small ones.

Can you PLEASE stop keeping the game so close in the 4th? I realize we need the ratings and whatnot, but I cannot afford to keep having these mini-heart attacks every damn game. It's really not healthy.

Can you keep Eva Longoria out of the games for this last series? I mean, granted she's one of South Texas' biggest claims to fame, but I think she's doing more harm than good. So dump the beyotch.

Please have a fashion consultant at every door of the SBC Center. Last thing we need to do is look like we have the ugliest people in the country on national television. It's bad enough we have the ugliest coach in the NBA (sorry Pop, but you know it's true).

Can Amy Duncan please hold off on having her kid until AFTER June 23rd? Just in case.

Please make sure that at some point Tony Parker's jersey gets inexplicably torn off his torso. Kind of like the way their warm-ups just sort of fall off their bodies, but instead let it be his jersey. Thank you so much.

Would you mind terribly giving Manu a night off? Oh, and tell him my number changed, it is now: 555-LICK.

If we HAVE to play Shaq... please be sure he is taken out. And I don't mean this figuratively. I'd like to see the man "swimming with the fishes", okay? He looks like a 70's porn star dumbass w/that mustache and must be destroyed.

I'd appreciate a 6 - game series. I'm going to be out of town for games 4 & 5 and really don't want to miss any of the celebration.

And finally - KICK SOME EASTERN CONFERENCE ASS!

That is all.

3 down - 1 to go! Go SPURS Go!

Yours forever,
Arianna