Party on Wayne

Party on Garth.

So, one of my (many - hey, I'm Latina, it's a reality) cousins is pregnant (again - *cough* once again, reality). And of course, my mom is super excited.

You know, since she isn't gettin' any grandkids outta me (yet), she's gotta get her baby fix somewhere. Fortunately for me, my cousins are willing to her help her out with that. Especially since I'm "so mean I haven't had a baby yet" and "poor Maria isn't a grandmother yet".

Screw you!

Hell, at this point, the only reason I'd have a baby is for my mom. Kind of like a Christmas present... or birthday gift.
"Happy Birthday Mom! Here's your very own grandchild. See ya!"

So, I'm hanging out at Mom and Dad's on Sunday (that's my normal Sunday routine BTW)... and my mom comes up to me with this huge grin on her face... This was our conversation:

Mom: Look! I think we should give it to Evonne.

My mom proceeds to show off this!
Me: Mom, what the hell is that?

Mom: Your dad bought it! Isn't it cool?!

Me: Uh, Mom. That's what ravers use when they are rolling on X.

Mom: X?

Me: Yeah, Xctasy. The drug!

Mom: Oooooooooh. OH! Really??

Me: Uh, yeah. Apparently when you roll on X, you crave the sensation in your mouth and you can grind your teeth or some shit like that. I don't know for sure. So people suck on pacifiers to help with their trip. Also when you roll the lights are an extra sensation to the trip. Uh, I don't think you should give that to her. At least not unless she's planning on taking up a drug habit.

My poor mom has this huge innocent look on her face.

So of course, I proceeded to laugh my ass off.

Y'all should have been there. It was priceless!

BTW - I'm slightly joking about the baby thing. I'd love to be a mother (one day) - I just don't know how I feel about pregnancy. It's too bad it takes 9 months and not like 5-7 days like a menstrual cycle. Oh well.