Moral Dilemma

It's not very often that I come face to face with these, but as I have, I feel it is only fair to share it with all of you, my dearest and most loyal readers.

Will you care? Likely not. Do I care that you don't care? Obviously not.

So here we are.

So about three months ago I rented a movie from... hmmmm, I think I'll call it Cubesmasher (so as to protect myself, of course). I was with Stacy and Leslie (who else would I be with?) and we were looking for something "good" to watch. After hours and hours of trying to decide which movie to rent (well, more like 15 minutes, but with them... I think you get my drift), we decided on the movie "Birth". You know - the one where Nicole Kidman makes out with that 5 year old.

Sooooooo hot... yes, I know.

Anyway. Went back home. Popped some popcorn. Chilled in my oversized chair. Watched it.

And. Yeah. That's about it.

Unfortunately, my popcorn was more entertaining than this movie. But eh, it's all good. I had a gift card, so it was essentially free.

Fast forward three weeks. I get one of those threatening postcards in the mail.

"Ms. Chavez, please be advised we have not received the following movie: Birth"

WHAT?!?! That's bullshit. You see when I rent movies - I always watch them THAT day. I'm not one of those people who rent movies to watch over and over again or to watch later in the week (who DOES that?!?!?). It's to watch it immediately. I'm all about the instant gratification. And I do mean ALL about it. *nudge nudge wink wink*

So, of course, I decided to call the store who was trying to scam me out of some lame ass late fees. Here is an accurate depiction of the conversation I had with the customer service rep at the neighborhood Cubesmasher (we'll call her "Puta").

Me: Uhm. Excuse me. It seems an error has been made. You see, I was sent a postcard explaining that I have not returned the movie "Birth". Which is impossible because I ALWAYS return movies the day after I rent them.
Puta: Uh. Like Whatever Lady. I see here that you've had that damn movie for like 2 years. And we want it back today beyotch.
Me: Uhm. But.
Puta: Don't argue with me skank! And just return the mother effin movie already!
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't have it. I already returned it. I know I did.
Puta: Whatever. You're full of shit.
Me: Let me speak to your Manager.

And so I spoke with the Manager. She and I calmly discussed the situation and then she said she would give me a "B-O-D". (A bod? What kind of Cubesmasher IS this? No, genius. That's "Benefit of the Doubt".) So I said "T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U" and hung up.

Well, over my rockin' ass Holiday break - I was sitting at home watching every DVD I own when I saw, just sitting there in the entertainment center, "Birth".

F*ck.

Me.

Sure enough. There it was.

So now I have to decide what to do. I can't keep it. But there is no way in hell I'm paying for it or for late fees. I mean - it was a crappy movie. And clearly an honest mistake.

At first I thought to just drop it in the return bin, but then someone reminded me of the late fee. So then a friend suggested sneaking it in and just placing it on the shelf maybe behind an old Playstation game or something. And that's what I'm leaning towards.

I'm curious tho, what would YOU do?