A teenager at heart

So recently my co-workers took a group of our kids on a field trip out of town. I think I've mentioned this before - and you know, how I couldn't go.

When they got back, one of my colleagues wanted to share some of the funnier stories.

To protect the innocent, we'll call her "Sis".

Sis: We were at this bookstore... and the kids had found this one book they were all excited about.

Me: Uh-huh.

Sis: So they come up to me in a small group, looking a little guilty and say "Hey Miss, can we ask you a question and you promise to answer?" I said, "What is it?"

Me: (Oh shit. No way! I know EXACTLY what she's about to tell me.)

Sis: They lean in and one of them whispers "Miss, Would You Rather...(blah blah blah)". It was so funny, they found this book of WOULD YOU RATHERS.

Me: (already laughing) Yes, I'm familiar with those. That one is one of my favorites. In fact, I have two different WYR books.

Sis: No way! HAHAHAHAHA!

Since this conversation, I have since bought two more WYRs. One is WRY: The Ultimate Challenge and the other is WYR: Love & Sex.

And so, I bring you, WYR Part II, from the book Would you rather...?: Ultimate Challenge (click here for the original post)...

WOULD YOU RATHER...?
1. be compelled to enter every room by jumping into the doorway with an imaginary pistol drawn like the star of a 70's cop show
OR
invariably make your orgasm face instead of smiling when being photographed?

2. everything you say be considered an insult
OR
a come-on?

3. have your range of sexual body movement equal to that of a He-Man doll
OR
speak like Yoda when attracted to someone? (I think hot you are.)

4. have pubic hair in the style of Princess Leia's hair
OR
pubes comprised of Brillo?

5. get drunk-dialed by Gandhi
OR
by Martin Luther King?

6A: (For women) have dreadlocked pubes
OR
have nipple-itis (constant visibly erect nipples that show through anything you wear)?

B. (For men) have a scrotum that fills with fresh-popped popcorn upon getting aroused (a la Jiffy Pop)
OR
make the sound of a foghorn upon orgasm?

7. date someone with a winterbush (very unkempt pubic hair)
OR
an autumnbush (hair changes color and falls out in fall)?

8. have phone sex with the teacher from the old Charlie Brown specials
OR
have telegraph sex? (see below)
PHONE SEX OPERATOR: I'm so horny STOP
YOU: What are you wearing STOP
PHONE SEX OPERATOR: Nothing STOP I'm so horny STOP
YOU: Oh yeah? STOP ... No, I mean, don't stop. STOP... Crap...

9. perpetually feel the annoyance and embarrassment when they sing Happy Birthday to you at a crowded restaurant
OR
perpetually feel the frustration of the fifteenth minute looking for your keys?

10. be required to file an official request with the federal government in order to receive oral sex
OR
have "Total number of sexual partners" be a required box to fill out on every job application?

MY ANSWERS:
1. 70's cop! HAHAH!! That would be funny. Sure it'd be embarrassing, but DAAAAMN funny too.

2. An insult. Seeing as it already is - may as well make it a for sure.

3. Yoda. Altho, old it would get.

4. Princess Leia pubic hair (and who says I don't already?)

5. Gandhi!!! For sure.

6. nipple-itis - again, a given for me.

7. HA! An autumnbush.

8. Probably the Charlie Brown teacher. Hey, ya never know. It might get really hot!

9. Happy Birthday. I get REALLY frustrated when I've lost my keys for that long.

10. There is NO WAY IN HELL I'd answer that box on an app (at least not honestly), so I'm going with filing federally for oral sex... oh well... *sigh*

And there you have it folks. Let's hear YOUR responses.