Would you rather...?

This is entirely a plug for a great book(s) and game... and remember YOU MUST CHOOSE!

Would you rather?

1. Convulsively mumble, "Kibbles N' Bits, Kibbles N' Bits. I've got to get me some Kibbles N' Bits" anytime you walk swiftly
or
Have a condition whereupon becoming increasingly irritated, more and more popcorn starts to pop in your pants?

2. Go a week without bathing, but be able to change your clothes
or
Go a week without a change of clothes, but be able to bathe?

3. Administer a "BJ" to every member of the Oakridge Boys
or
Be double-teamed by Grimace and Mayor McCheese?

4. remove a 30-foot tapeworm from a rhinoceros
or
be ejaculated on by Snuffalupagus?

5. have to always answer the phone with "I am the Vindicator of the Damned"
or
have a deep-seated insecurity that causes you to refer to yourself as "The Ambassador" as in "The Ambassador would like a Bud Lite"?

6. Never have sex again
or
Have sex once with a walrus?
Things to consider: ever-increasing irritability, the fact walrus' have the 2nd largest penis of all mammals.

7. Have permanent Chee-tos residue on your fingertips
or
be unable to distinguish between ketchup and hair gel?

8. Always have someone staring over your shoulder when you're reading
or
only be able to read that way?

9. have sex with Ernie
or
Bert?

10. have a written lisp
or
fizz up like Alka-Seltzer when in water?
Things to consider: swimming, making your own Perrier, Mithithippi

Answers:
1. Kibbles N' Bits.. cause let's face it, I don't exactly "walk swiftly" anywhere.
2. I have to shower everyday. Cause otherwise that's nasty (A WHOLE WEEK?!). Altho, without clean underwear... I shudder to think of it.
3. Double-teamed. Let's face it - that just sounds like fun!
4. 30 feet is REALLY long, but Snuff's a big guy... this is a hard one (pardon the pun), but I think I'll take the tapeworm.
5. "I am the vindicator of the damned" HA!!! Someone dare me to do that for a day! Please.
6. I had to REALLY consider the pros and cons of this one... but I'd have to say I'd never have sex again. No wait, the walrus. OH DAMN! I don't KNOW!
7. Ketchup/hair gel
8. Only be able to read that way. And is there a difference?
9. Ernie. I bet underneath that sweet facade is a wildman in the bedroom!
Anyone else think it's weird I have a lot of Sesame Street references?
10. Written lithp. Cauth that would jutht be fuckin hilariouth.

If you feel like commenting pleathe pick a couple to anther.. or be my guetht and put them in your own blog.