Awww, I'm ugly

Actually, I don't really think so. But I did get some "eh" news this afternoon that has me feeling a bit relieved, a bit disappointed, and a bit on the less-than-attractive side.

Here's the story...

Remember how I said several days ago, I MIGHT have some major news?

Well, I'm ready to share. And it's not because something cool is about to happen, it's because something cool is not about to happen.

Alas.

Or is it?

Okay, enough suspense. Y'all all (I think I just typed "you all all" - sheesh!) know I've lost a shitload of weight. Right? Right.

Wait. No?

Well, yeah. I have. Back in February of 2006 (why then? I don't really know.), I joined a weight loss program. It was actually the first time I had ever tried to lose weight. Although many would say I should have done this or basically ANYTHING sooner, I never did. Call me lazy. Call me cynical. Whatever the case, I just never tried. Well! This program ended up saving my life. In a way.

So back to all the weight I lost. You see, more recently I had been courted by the Public Relations company of the weight loss program I'm in. They said they "liked my story" and were interested in... get this... pitching it and me to People magazine for their "Half Their Weight" summer issue.

Confused?

People magazine has 2 issues a year where the cover story is "Half Their Size". It features men and women who have lost weight equaling at least half their original weight loss. And well, I was (am) almost there.

Hence the whole "last 5 to lose".

I know. Mouths are dropping. Etc.

I told you I had lost a lot of fucking weight.

Well, today I found out that I didn't make it in time or in the running for their summer issue, but that "they are considering me for January's".

Which translates in my head to:

Wow, you're ugly and People wouldn't be caught dead using you in their magazine.

Of course, that's not what I was told. I believe the phrase used was "I'm confident for the January issue for you." Hrmm. Shall I remind them of today's date? It's May effin' 2nd! Like People is really gonna remember a still slightly portly Mexi 7 months from now. Psh. Yeah, right!

Regardless, there are some upsides...

1. I had some "professional" photos (PG rated, thank you very much!) taken of me a week ago... which I get to KEEP! Rock on!

2. I can stop being so damned strict on myself in order to lose that last (now!) 3 lbs.

Okay - so maybe there are just 2. But still. At least now I know. And knowing is definitely half the battle (G.I. Jooooooooe).