Road rage much

Ok, so I watch a lot of reality TV. Not as much as I used to, but certainly enough to warrant an eyebrow raise. One of my favorites is "Pimp My Ride". Never in my life have I wanted a chandelier inside my car until I saw that fated episode. And I think if my car was a big ol' Suburban like that one chick's, I too would like a floor of flat screens in which to stand on or dance on in the back of my Ride.
But alas, I do not live in Southern Cali (thank GOD) and will never be eligible for a Pimped out Ride. And because of this - I have decided that I don't really want these things in my car... I actually just have 1 request. I would like a scoreboard on the back of my car. Something that lights up w/words and pictures.

I mean, wouldn't it be cool if I could be driving around in my car and by using a little uplink computer could type out or flash pictures on this scoreboard of mine. For example this week I would have sent out these lovely messages...

1. To that shithead in the Acura on my ass Monday night:
Hey Faggot, do I look like an asshole?? Back off!
(as a Diversity Award winner and Sociology major from a small, liberal arts college - I think I am about to get my degree and lame ass certificate revoked for this comment, but I can't help it, that's how I feel!)

2. To the stoner in the big ass Explorer yesterday afternoon:
Hey Buddy - puff puff pass over here.
(Gotta love the guy w/balls to light up a blunt while driving on the highway in the middle of the day w/his windows rolled down. )

3. To the old lady in the Caddy this morning:
You have to be this tall to ride!
(You know who I'm talking about - those old ladies whose heads you can't see over the back of their headrest as they swerve side to side blocking two lanes.)

and Finally...

4. To the ca-cas who don't slow down in school zones:
Where do YOUR kids go to school so I can sail past going 50 mph?
( I mean, how much does it REALLY add to your commute to slow down for what - all of half a mile. Sheeesh!)

Anyway, if I thought I could get away with these, I would totally get one. But in the meantime, I must deal w/it in my own way... by talking as much on my phone as possible while I drive, reaching for CDs on the floor when the light turns green, doing my makeup from the second I get in my car til whenever I get to my destination, and under no circumstances will I ever use my turn signal if someone is riding my ass.