Congratulations Thatgirl7278...

...it's official, you're a hooch!

Awww. The words I have so longed to hear and here they are. On my blog. It's a magical and special day.

Why am I a hooch you ask? Well, I'll tell ya!

Remember that baby shower I went to over the weekend? The one I mentioned in my previous post. Yeah, well, this particular baby shower had games.

Altogether... awwwww.

Now, really, altogether... Boooooooo, hiss.

Nothing is more obnoxious than baby shower games.

Let me set this up so no one is confused. My dad's cousin Ray and his wife are having their second child... a girl. She'll be only the 2nd female grandchild in a family with 12 total grandkids.

My parents are Godparents to their older son "Baby Ray". And yes, we call him "Baby Ray". It's cute now because he's only 3, but in about 10 years it probably won't be as cute. Oh well, guess we'll figure out what to call him then. In the meantime, "Baby Ray" it is.

Back to the party. So the party was held in one of the "Party Rooms" at a local barbecue restaurant. And as I'm sure you can imagine there was pink EVERYWHERE. Guest-wise, there were probably around 25 adults and 15 kids - it was chaotic to say the least.

Now onto the games. First off - there was Stork BINGO. I think the best part about it was the PA system my mom (Yes, Mom was the M.C.) used. Hmmm, how can I put it so you'd understand the magnitude of this event.

Okay, I got it.

Here's some imagery. Let's say you and your family are having an early dinner at a local barbecue restaurant. You sit down and are just about to take a big bite of your chicken or sausage when you hear... "Nipple"... "Breastfeeding"... "Dirty diapers". Etc.

I think you get my point.

Anyway. So all the other games were pretty typical. Count the safety pins in the plastic baby. The handful of rice and safety pins, etc.

But the game I mastered. The game I won by a landslide. The clothespin game.

It's the one where every woman who walks in the door is handed a clothespin in order to pin to their clothes. The clothespin is yours to keep for as long as you can - UNLESS you cross your legs. And if another woman catches you with your legs crossed, they can come by and snatch away your clothespin for themselves. The winner is that one woman with the most clothespins at the end of the game.

Anyone confused? Well, basically, the one rule of the game is ... DON'T CROSS YOUR LEGS. Get it? A baby shower. Legs uncrossed. The irony?

Do I have to spell it out? Probably not. Am I going to anyways? Hell, yeah.

The Point: If the mother had kept her legs crossed to begin with, there'd be no baby shower.

OOoooooooooOOO.

Exactly.

And guess who won that game? Guess who walked away with 6 clothespins? Guess who is the biggest hooch of all and can keep her legs open for hours at a time if necessary?

That's right.

Me.

Consider this my acceptance speech.