Don't tell me what to think

I was at the grocery store the other day and...

(DAMN! I just realized I should have taken another picture like the last time I went to the grocery store. You know "The One Where I Bought Welch's Grape Cock". Oh well.)

I was perusing the cream cheese, butter, etc. section when I saw that there is actually a brand of butter called "You'd THINK it was butter".

Now, you can imagine my surprise. I mean, who hasn't heard of "I can't believe it's not butter" (Thank you Fabio.)? But "You'd THINK it was butter"? And yes, "THINK" was in fact in all uppercase.

And is it wrong that my first reaction was to think...

Fuck you. You can't tell me what I THINK is butter!

So I curiously pick up the container and see that it contains zero of everything (can something contain zero of everything? Kind of a weird play on words and yet I think y'all get what I mean).

Apparently there is literally NOTHING in it. I really don't know how it even exists. And yet it must, because I held it in my hands. I even opened it and tasted some. Okay, that's a lie. I didn't actually do that. But I could have if I was hungry or something. Grocery stores don't mind when you do that. Seriously. Try it for yourself.

So after my little personal outburst I placed the "You'd THINK it was butter" (damn you, I'll think whatever the hell I want to!) back on the shelf and rolled my little cart down the aisle upset with myself for reacting so emotionally.