Would you rather: Pop Edition

Ah yes, another installment of my favorite questions/dilemmas to ponder.

Let's play, shall we (my answers will be at the end).

Would you rather...

1. be incredibly good-looking from eight to ten feet away (but no closer or further)

OR

have your morning always be in the pleasant tone of coffee commercial?

2. only be able to communicate with family members by leaving notes on Internet porn message boards

OR

have an ice cream cone wafer face?

3. only be able to pleasure yourself with your feet

OR

have to select all your meals off of the "Kid's Menu"?

4. have the ability to empty your bladder by "beaming" your urine to a toilet like in Star Trek

OR

be capable of shooting pubic "quills" in self-defense like a porcupine.

Would you rather have on your instant message buddy list...

5. Jesus

OR

Steve Kerr?

(things to consider: WWJIM)

Would you rather...

6. produce helium-filled feces

OR

TNT-filled feces?

7. be compelled to sign off every phone conversation with "Ain't no thang!"

OR

invariably tag on a "My Liege" at the end of all of your sentences?

8. walk through all doorways as if you were in the heat of an intense limbo competition

OR

be compelled to make a hula hoop motion whenever you're in the presence of police officers?

9. be restricted to use a Big Wheel as your only means of transportation

OR

be forced to cook all your meals in an Easy-Bake oven?

10. have a TiVo that displays information and exact timing regarding the occurrence and quality of nudity and sex for all shows

OR

have a Microsoft Help Icon that talks dirty to you?

And finally...

11. become incredibly boring on Tuesdays

OR

upon finishing using a public restroom, feel compelled to utter in a childish voice, "My poopies"?

DONE!

And now for my responses:

1. I would rather have all my morning always be in the pleasant tone of coffee commercial.

Just cause.

2. A toughie. But I guess I'd say that I could only communicate with family members by leaving notes on Internet porn message boards. That would be REALLY hard because a lot of my family doesn't have Internet access; but hell if I'll pick a "cone face".

3. I think it would be best if I could only pick my meals off the "Kid's Meal" list. Course that means I'm eating a lot of chicken tenders and the like. But I think I could deal. ;)

4. I would totally beam my pee. How cool would THAT be?!?!

5. Jesus. Seriously.

6. Exploding poo. Hehe. Definitely!

7. I would have to go with "Ain't no thang" because I write and say a lot of sentences and the whole "My Liege" thing would get way old.

8. This seriously made me laugh my ass off just because of the mental picture. But in the end, I'd go w/the hula hoop motion. I don't find myself in the presence of cops TOO often.

9. Easy Bake Oven. If I went w/the Big Wheel, I'd never get anywhere... ever.

10. I'd go w/the icon. I love me some dirty talk.

And my final answer... a little sad, aren't you?

(Now this question totally made me laugh out loud.)

11. Alas, while it'd be "silly funny" to go w/poopies... it looks like all signs point to the other option. To become incredibly boring on Tuesdays.

Hope y'all enjoyed, but now it's your turn and you MUST choose. So what's the deal. Would you rather...