Mother's Day. woo.

Sorry I'm not more excited. Aside from getting to hang out with Mom (which usually is pretty cool, we get along pretty well) - Mother's Day means a gift must be gotten and given.

Sometimes, Mom does this really weird thing and gives ME a gift... something about how she wouldn't be a mother if it wasn't for me. Which well, is technically true... and really who can argue with that logic? Not me. Not when a gift is involved. Never.

But my problem is pretty real. I have to somehow find Mom the right gift. Which apparently I have NEVER in my 26 years been able to accomplish. No matter how hard I try. And trust me - I've tried.

One year for Christmas (I think I was 17) I worked my butt off and saved up and spent a few HUNDRED dollars on a diamond tennis bracelet for my mom. I think she's worn it twice in the last 10 years.

Another year for her birthday, I splurged and took mom on an overnight trip to Houston to go check out the Texas Renaissance Fair. She pretty much whined the ENTIRE day.

One other Christmas just a couple of years back, I bought her a brand new DVD player (a nice one, not one of those Walmart specials for $39.99). She just sort of mumbled "Thanks." To this day, I don't even think she knows how to use it.

Ok, so you might be thinking maybe I should go for a more meaningful gift. That it's not about how much I spend, but the sentiment behind it. And to that I tell you that CLEARLY your mother is normal and that works for you and her, cause it sure as hell doesn't fly with my mom.

You see I tried that too. Mother's Day 2-3 years ago, I made an appointment at a ceramic shop for us. The ones where you go in and paint a little figurine and then they cook it for you and you have this really pretty memento of a special day. blah blah blah.

You see back when I was in college, my mom went through a "ceramic phrase". She would go and paint Christmas ornaments or little ceramic statues with her friends and just have "the best time ever!". So I thought this would be something she would really enjoy. I blindfolded her so she wouldn't know where we were going and when I took off the blindfold... I got NOTHING!! She was like "what are we doing here?" Talk about a kill joy. I don't really like painting, but I think I actually had more fun than her.

The hardest part of all this - is that I will take all this time and/or effort and/or money to get her a really nice, well thought out gift and she just shrugs them off. But one of her friends will get her a "Singing and Dancing Robot Hedgehog" that dances to the Caddy Shack song "I'm alright!" and she goes nuts. Proclaims it the best thing ever and shows it off to the rest of the family.

Bottom line here: Man, I hate shopping for my mom.